i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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