Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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