I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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