This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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