is your mom at the bar?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
