saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize