I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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