I hope mine doesn't look like that
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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