I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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