Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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