I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
