You're my little dorito
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
