I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
