Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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