1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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