i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
so much tequila, so little girl.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
