there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
