Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
