New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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