I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
