So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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