sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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