So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
