I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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