I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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