well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
