Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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