well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
