i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
