I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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