My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
