Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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