you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
