Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
