anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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