Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize