don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
