she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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