It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Slut skills are useful in every country.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
