During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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