Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
