I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
