wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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