why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
