Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
