I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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