sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize