I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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