I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
