totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
