Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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