I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
