its not stalking. its research.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
