I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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