Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
