And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
