But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
