i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
