New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
