The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
