So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize