just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
